Why do you keep setting me up with freaks?

As you know, your bashert was already determined for you 40 days before conception. How do you know your bashert is not a freak?

I wanted to meet some girls, so I went to Mount Sinai seuda shlishit. But they were all guys, singing Aramaic drinking songs! Then I heard that women have a separate seuda shlishit. What gives?

The women were hoping you wouldn't notice, but they were trying to avoid you.

Is men's basketball this week on a regular schedule?

You'll just have to wait for Friday night announcements to find out. But don't worry - they will all be repeated Shabbat morning, with extreme clarity.